In 2018, after her cancer diagnosis, Grandma returned home and wrote a poem for Mom and Uncle, expressing her gratitude for the life she cherished, thanks to her two children who cared for her. Six months later, she passed away.
Six years on, I asked Mom about the definition of "mother" for a research project. She handed me Grandma’s poem and shared her life story. That’s when I truly grasped the depth of love, and how it can help someone overcome life's hardships. Love is red, the bloodline that intertwines our family.
Throughout my adult life, I’ve felt lost, unable to find love within myself, making me wary of commitment and relationships because as a child, I let go of this love line because it hurt to hold.
This project is an ongoing journey to write down my family’s story and discover the true meaning of love and family. So I couldn find peace within myself. It is my way of reconnecting with our red bloodline, starting with Grandma's poem, tracing my way back to find my way home.
The past consumes my daylight,
He suffers, yelling, punching,
Mom screams, cries, can't leave,
I panic, hide, bleeding.
Please, can you stop!
Can I have my dad?
I just want to be your son.
Walking upstairs without a word,
Screaming, panic
continuing.
Anh ơi làm sao,
học tình thương?
Nhìn lại quá khứ , mình trong gương
cứ thấy đau thương, và tăm tối.
Dùng tay che mắt, đỡ sợ đời,
giữ lại dòng lệ, còn chưa vơi.
Em à em đang, học cách thương.
Em buồn thì viết, nhẹ gánh đời,
mệt cứ an trú, trong giấc ngủ,
sợ thì ngồi thở, chuyện qua thôi.
Nghe em tâm sự , là cách thương.
Em bé trong em, cần chăm sóc.
Mong được vỗ về, để nín khóc
để bé cởi mở, chia sẻ tình thương.
_ cho tôi, và em bé bên trong mình 24/06/2023
Now I see you,
At the age same as you,
walking same paths of self-destruction,
because our dark past consumes daylight,
But darkness is a concept
of closed eyes.
Where does it go
when I open my eyes?
You are me, humans, that crave love,
Dad, I'm shy to ask you directly, so here:
“What is is like for to live to your life?”
“Dad, you in my age, what is the childhood for you?”